Springtime is coming on pretty heavy. The outdoors call and I’m revisiting music of my youth. Pearl Jam, in particular. The need for an artistic break is coming on perhaps even stronger (in my consciousness anyway) and the link between the two is probable. Much like the need to retreat to silence or wilderness to encounter the boundaries of self without external pressures, this call is a deeper inward pull. The need to answer questions such as, “who am I without this art making? where does this desire come from? do I even need this is my life?” - are essential, to me.

The pushback is predictable. “What are you doing? Its a mistake!” The world (the mind) tends to demand that we know ourselves through something outside of ourselves and when we motion to drop this or that vehicle there is dismay.  “Do my actions threaten you?” What if the things I’m involved with are no longer serving me? What about knowing oneself through oneself? There are some that would say this is an impossible notion. I disagree. It is a process, no doubt, but certainly a potential reality. Of course this does not mean I have to stop doing anything. But there are always things standing in the way of coming to know oneself. If I cannot see through these things, or they prevent my consciousness from expanding, what to do? There will be blood. There must be sacrifice. This could simply mean my viewpoint (in fact, it will ALWAYS be a point of view), but it could mean an activity such as art making or eating so much sugar or anything that falls away with a particular viewpoint. As long as I dont make the decision beforehand, I’ll be just fine.

2 months ago  /  0 notes